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Tidbit of Wisdom

I hope my hands don't get sticky touching this dirty field.

Fat Chicks in Frumpy Clothing

I posted a naming conflict and decided in the face of a ton of spam to blog against Fat Chicks in Frumpy Clothing. I have to do this because ever since I was a young boy I despised the grotesque slabs of flab that charactorized Fat People. I eat entire pizzas, fast food and too much candy, soda and energy drink. I am not fat so anyone can be like this, in fact I can keep my weight over 155 lbs. Normally I would ignore such an affront to my name but it's reaching embarrassing levels. The first thing is "What does the name Skorch, especially with a K, have to do with Fat Chicks in Frumpy Clothing?"

The second thing is there's a ton of these ugly on the outside Fat Chicks wearing frumpy clothing, by the yard, pictures and then they disparage my legacy as Skorch! They disparage and insult me by just existing and using a name I hold dear to my heart, the way they probably do with cake. It's a very petty thing but until my first question is answered I feel entitled to this moniker. I will use it to blog against what I despise and that's just the way it is!
Soon I will have links of my own to post. I plan on containing my 'netted hatred to it's own 15 blogs, much in the same way these Fat Chicks hijacked my name. Until then remember that until it becomes a conspiracy to rob my intellectual property rights I usually ignore netizens using my name in a personal manner. The shameful zeal that the Fat, Frumpy Chicks promote themselves with required the same fanatical zeal in the backlash of their "fame".

The Original Skorch hosts several pages about himself and his hobbies. You can find out more about me at these wonderful websites. The ScriptMaster, also known as Skorch, runs this site for the demanding photographer/webmaster. A few people even use these scripts and I'm very proud of that, a fact that is being degraded daily by becoming associated with Fat Chicks in Frumpy Clothing. I also represent the SoCal Kerplunkers on the wonderful world of MySpace. Find out more about the person known as Skorch there. I'm also my own best friend on MySpace, because I am an amateur filmmaker. I had to sign up for a way to again represent the Gr8ness that should be known by only 1 name, Skorch. I shot, starred in, and edited those movies. I even got to be on television and was dubbed into foreign languages. I've been interviewed by real newspapers and had other people publish my photos, in INK. Can the Fat Chicks in Frumpy Clothing claim that? I don't think so! Check out the 12 Feet Under channel on YouTube if you think I suck, because I don't! I Rock! My accomplishments could go on and on and on but I'll spare you and continue the assault on the Name Thieves.

I am an extreme cliff diver. I live for The Thrill of the Fall!

If you want to know more about the adrenaline cruise over to 12 Feet Under and watch the burly action!

War Czars, Drunken Jackimals and Society

In life there are a few things you should worry about. War Czars, especially when armed with shovels, and Drunken Jackimals are two of the worst creatures to have contact with. This is also going to be the DUI 101 course written by a professional DUI Dodger. The advice in this article may actually get you sent to jail. It's formally advised that only people who are already jailbound follow this advice to increase their time spent on the "outside". The rules are simple and more of a guideline than a steadfast rule.

A Drunken Jackimal is a monkey that wants to get it's drink on but lacks the funds, creativity or initiative to get booze in a quasi-legal manner. In the case  where getting a job is anathema and you drink your government check in two weeks then you can steal it. If you don't have the stones to rob stores you can Apple Jack it. That's as easy as letting apple juice rot. You can also mix rice and yeast to make Ghetto-Saki using the same let it rot strategy you used for Apple Jack.

The first thing a good jackimal needs, in addition to liquid courage, is a backpack. The next thing is desire because you have to really want the booze to run for it! A nice location is the next item the jackimal considers.

Features that make for a good location are
  • A Skeletal Staff ( preferably of 1 )
  • A Decent Selection of Booze
  • Access to other items, like cigarettes
  • Distance from Drinking HQ
  • A Hidden Getaway Route

Features that make a Good Jackimal
  • Track Record
  • Do They Score Tubbers? Fifths? Beer?
  • Fearlessness of Authority
  • The Ability to Run Fast
  • Willingness to Make Friends Happy

A good jackimal can gank from level 2 stores but beginners are advised to stick to "Easy Scores".  When cornered the Jackimal is advised to throw the liquor and run or Just Run! If said Jackimal is also a Shovel Wielding War Czar you should get out of their way!

I've been there but the most memorable Jackimals have gone on in their lives. Baby Matt was the OJ due to his fear of reprisal from certain thugs. He hit every store until he was banned city-wide then went back to the beginning. When he no longer supplied booze to the crew his association with us vanished. Mexican Dave was the next person to wear the crown of Jackimal. He soon lost his nerve after having close calls in Baby Matts' favorite location.

A good party usually involves three or more jackings so having a ride for the dedicated Jackimal is sometimes necessary. The driver is usually drinking so basic DUI advice should be applied here.

I am an extreme cliff diver. I live for The Thrill of the Fall!

If you want to know more about the adrenaline cruise over to 12 Feet Under and watch the burly action!

My Latest Fad Diet

I am a athletic slim man. I've always been physically active so I developed many diets over the years. Some diets weren't so great but they were tasty, some diets were great but tasted like cardboard. I solved this problem and now I enjoy the best of both worlds.

A key experience of my life happened when I was swimming at the local community pool. I was five years old and had a little chubby belly. I was looking around and realized that fat people looked disgusting. I swore that I would never be that gross glob of jelly-like wiggles. I even would rather be dead than be fat so it's hard to put into words the revulsion I felt about becoming fat & disgusting that morning. I asked my dad how to not be fat and he told me to EXERCISE and that sit-ups would reduce the growing sack of fat protruding from my stomach. It worked and I haven't been fat in the 26 years since that fateful day. I thank me for that too!

I used many diets over the years and have never had a failure diet but I am that damn good so...Diet 1 - Pepsi, Lil Debbie snack cakes and Doritos got me through my Junior and Senior years of high school. I had mac & cheese or a hamburger if my dad cooked but that was not very often. The bunches of pot I smoked helped me eat enough of the food I was never hungry but nutrition was not for me. By the time I was 20 it was time to settle down, stop doing drugs and get back into shape.

I'll be honest I eat whatever I want Whenever I want. I couldn't gain weight if I wanted too and I'm not lucky. My body, and it's fabulous metabolism, is the result of years of effort and conscious decisions I made early in life. I feel the same weigh when I see fat people...They decided to eat garbage and hold down a couch and are now reaping the consequences of their ignorant decisions. They're not genetically fat and it's not a glandular problem. The problem is lack of exercise + eating poorly. This is proven by the fact that there are ZERO genetically fat people in Somalia, or other third world African nations where people starve to death due to lack of food.

My latest diet encompasses both the ease of my former diets with the health effects of a pyramid eating style. Pizza is the perfect food, it has meats, grains, vegetables and the fourth thing. I eat a large pepperoni pizza every day and have only gained 8 pounds. I noticed this weight gain was mostly muscle and look great.

It's that damn easy guys...Get Exercise, Eat Pizza and Be Healthy!
Poll #1257400 What Would You Do

Would You Jump off a Cliff, into 12 feet of water?

Hell Yeah!
Only if my friends did it first
How High is it
Probably Not
Never Ever!

I am an extreme cliff diver. I live for The Thrill of the Fall!

If you want to know more about the adrenaline cruise over to 12 Feet Under and watch the burly action!